| Haven't you wondered why some people have more | | | | make sense are: (1) perceiving emotions, (2) using |
| success than others? In our personal quests to reach | | | | emotions, (3)understanding emotions; and (4) |
| our potential and maximize our personal power and | | | | managing emotions. |
| assets, we ponder what the mix is that makes for | | | | A movie that illustrates concepts of emotional |
| success in life - work and relationships both. | | | | intelligence is Orson Welles' powerful "The Tragedy |
| For many decades (perhaps since the Age of | | | | of Othello: The Moor of Venice." In this case, it is an |
| Reason), the Western World focused on cognitive | | | | example of emotional intelligence gone bad. This is, of |
| intelligence, generally referred to as IQ. We assumed | | | | course, Shakespeare's tragedy, Othello, and from this |
| a high IQ was the ticket. | | | | came Verdi's magnificent opera, "Otello" which we |
| However, you may have noticed, as early | | | | also consider. The place of music in emotional |
| researchers in the field did, that IQ is not the only | | | | intelligence can hardly be underestimated, BTW, and |
| answer, and sometimes not the most important part | | | | of the great arts in general. |
| of the equation. Even an IQ-genius like Einstein states | | | | In the beginning of the story of Otello, we see a |
| that there is something more going on - that his | | | | man at the height of his power. [Bear in mind that |
| theories were leaps of intuition. Daniel Goleman is | | | | the definition of a Shakespearean tragedy is that the |
| often misquoted as saying that EQ matters more | | | | hero is undone by "a character flaw" not by some |
| than IQ, when what he actually said was "it CAN | | | | external event (such as war or illness)]. Otello was a |
| matter more." Haven't you found this to be true? | | | | general, at the top of his game, with a successful |
| EQ draws on the continuing phenomenal new | | | | career, and a loving marriage to the beautiful |
| research on the human (triune) brain and what | | | | Desdemona. |
| emotions are and how they operate -- | | | | At the end of the movie (play, opera) we see a man |
| neuro-affective science. Lust, for instance, comes | | | | who has destroyed his life, killed his wife, and |
| from the reptilian brain (the oldest, and therefore the | | | | proceeds to kill himself. The aria Niun mi Tema is one |
| strongest), and for good living, we mediate this with | | | | of the most powerful arias in opera. It means "No |
| the limbic brain (it would hurt my wife if I had an | | | | one need fear me any more," and is the lament of a |
| affair) and the neocortex (I could lose all my money | | | | man who was undone by emotions. |
| in a divorce if I have an affair). | | | | What happened? Otello failed to promote a man |
| As we fumble around for definitions, please keep in | | | | (Iago) who then set about to do him in, and he did it |
| mind, intuitively if you will, that EQ is one of those | | | | without laying a hand on Otello. Iago understood |
| things that you know when you see it. Think for a | | | | Otello better than Otello understood himself, and he |
| moment now of someone you know who is | | | | used this to bring about Otello's death and |
| successful (hopefully it is you), and toss around in | | | | destruction at his own hands, manipulating him around |
| your mind some of the things that make this | | | | like a puppet on a string. See my video on youtube |
| person's life work. IQ, perhaps, and also perhaps | | | | here: |
| flexibility, intentionality, ability to assess gut-feelings, | | | | Why study emotional intelligence? To paraphrase Sun |
| ability to work with others, self-management. We | | | | Tzu, who was talking about warfare, understanding |
| even use words like "character," "patience," | | | | how people can be manipulated through emotions is |
| "maturity," "affability," "leadership," etc. | | | | as useful for those who wish to avoid having it done |
| An operating definition of emotional intelligence is | | | | to them, as it is for those who wish to practice it. |
| (wikipedia): "an ability, capacity, or skill to perceive, | | | | If you stop and think about it, you can get in touch |
| assess and manage the emotions of one's self, of | | | | with times when your emotions either facilitated or |
| others, and of groups." The definition is evolving, but | | | | blocked your ability to function well, make good |
| keep in mind that you know it when you see it. For | | | | decisions and/or use good judgment. Emotions, after |
| instance, I prefer to use the term "competencies." | | | | all, give us information - it's what we do about the |
| Emotional Intelligence probably began with no less | | | | information that makes the difference. Maybe you |
| than Darwin, who pointed out the importance of | | | | drove away a lover by something you said in anger, |
| emotional expression for survival and adaptation. | | | | or jumped in (or out of) the stock market on an |
| Slowly research turned to the non-cognitive aspects | | | | emotional whim, or gave a poor speech because of |
| of "intelligence". As early as 1920. E. L. Thorndike at | | | | anxiety, gave in to lust and ruined your marriage, or |
| Columbia University coined the term "social | | | | got angry and told off your boss and got fired, or |
| intelligence" to refer to the ability to understand and | | | | talked back to a judge and ... See my video, "The |
| manage other people. | | | | Top 10 Things You Say After You've Been Hijacked |
| Among early researchers in the field, Howard Gardner | | | | (by the reptilian brain)" here: . |
| (Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences) | | | | There are several assessment of emotional |
| used the terms "interpersonal intelligence" (to | | | | intelligence which vary in their terminology, but some |
| describe our ability to understand the intentions, | | | | of the competencies are resilience, flexibility, personal |
| motivations and desires of other people), and | | | | power, nonverbal communication, emotional |
| "intrapersonal intelligence" (the ability to understand | | | | expression, intentionality, authenticity, and empathy |
| oneself, to appreciate your feelings, fears and | | | | or compassion. |
| motivations). In 1985, Wayne Payne published a | | | | Should it be "empathy" or "compassion"? How DO |
| doctoral thesis entitled A study of emotion: | | | | you define emotional intelligence? These are largely |
| Developing emotional intelligence. Salovey and Mayer | | | | academic matters. YOU know the quality that we |
| were also key researchers in the field (1990). It is | | | | struggle to define with "compassion" or "empathy" |
| perhaps Daniel Goleman who popularized the term in | | | | and YOU KNOW know that it - and the other |
| 1995 with his best-seller, Emotional Intelligence: Why | | | | competencies - matter. And the most important thing |
| It Can Matter More Than IQ. | | | | is that unlike IQ, EQ can be learned. I know. I teach |
| Is EQ better than IQ? See my video on youtube: | | | | it. |
| Salovey and Mayer have a good working definition of | | | | What's another good definition? Many of my clients |
| emotional intelligence: "The ability to perceive | | | | have called emotional intelligence "the missing piece." |
| emotion, integrate emotion to facilitate thought, | | | | And then there was one who said, "your course |
| understand emotions, and to regulate emotions to | | | | saved my mind. |
| promote personal growth". Four categories that | | | | |