The spiritual path: Fear of dying and/or going insane. Part 1

This article reflects my own spiritual path this far asan example from my own life, one night I thought
well as experiences from other people I have comethis reality was a dream, and that the real me was
across who are dealing with the same thing. There isasleep in some kind of chamber in a spaceship. I
a need for this to be shared among spiritual seekers.thought that if I only realized this, I would wake up in
This article is meant for those who have been onthe real world and there would be a big celebration. It
some spiritual path for a while and are getting deeperwould be happiness beyond this world that I
into it. All though everyone experiences it their owncompleted this ?final challenge? and was now forever
way, everyone can still benefit from what is beingfree. If you have seen the movie ?The matrix?,
shared.remember the scene when Neo wakes up in a small
Enlightenment, nirvana or oneness is something moretank after taking a pill offered to him by Morpheus?
and more people seek. The most common tool toKind of like that but not as dark and slimy.
reach this is meditation and yoga. Another commonGetting back on track: In this phase the seeker will
path is taking the oneness blessing (previously calledprobably realize that the thoughts are very strange
deeksha) which is a kind of transfer of divine energyand may feel that real insanity is just around the
or light. Many are not really aware of the hard partcorner. I?m not talking about the usual ?I?m a bit of
that may be ahead and expect everything to be pinka nut?-thing that we all feel some times. I?m talking
clouds and rainbows.about real serious scary thoughts about becoming
After a while on the path most people start to doubtone of those insane people we see on TV being
what they are doing. The blissful state, the love andlocked up in an insane asylum. This feeling can be
peace that was initially experienced in a kind ofvery scary indeed.
honey moon phase may not be felt inside anymore.The fear of death
For many people this is the end of their search onThe seeker may feel that something inside is dying
the current path and a quest for a new path starts.and might interpret this as physical death. This is also
This is how many seekers spend half (if not all) ofa very real feeling. The seeker is 100% sure that the
their lives. Seeking new highs, finding them, becomingfinal moment has come and gets him or herself ready
disappointed and moving on. Either this happens, orto die. I don?t need to explain that this is not a nice
the seeker realize this fact and keeps on the pathfeeling. This happened to me and I was ready to die.
and sooner or later discovers that all it takes isI thought something was wrong with my heart
patience and to keep on the path regardless of whatbecause It felt as though I was having a heart
the mind might say.attack. I went to the doctor who did all the tests
Dealing with negative feelingsand told me that what happened to me was an
Many know that in order to move on, the inner fearsanxiety attack. They offered me anti depressants (I
etc must be experienced in some way. All kinds ofwasn?t depressed) and some other crap (to use the
negative feelings and memories come up to thecorrect word) that was supposed to make be feel
surface and by staying on the path these negativegood again. Luckily I knew better. I have a friend
energy blocks let go one by one. The seeker learnswho at the time studied CBT (Cognitive behavioral
to handle it after a while and gets a great sense oftherapy). She recommended that I try the therapy. I
being on top of things, feeling how old problems andfound a psychologist who had CBT and got started.
fears let go.To make a long story short this changed my life. The
The fear of going insanenext article will be more in depth about this CBT and
When the seekers advances and start going deeperhow it can help people on the spiritual path. This
he or she may now start experiencing a weirdwhole experience took away a huge amount of fear
feeling. A feeling that the world somehow isn?t whatin all parts of my life. It changed my life so much that
it seems to be. The seekers may get an insight thatI realized I couldn?t continue doing things I didn?t
turns the world upside down. Suddenly the seekerreally want to do anymore. I made up my mind that
might see that the source of joy and meaning to lifemy life had to change and I started with quitting my
that was taken for granted was only a trick playedjob. I now work from home running a website. I feel
by the mind. A sense that there is no meaning inmore free.
doing anything is common. The seeker may becomeI?m in no way any guru. Just someone hoping that
very depressed, but some find it incredibly liberatingmy own experience may be of use to others. Keep
instead.an eye open for the follow-up article were I will go
Others may start feeling that they ?are on todeeper on how you can handle the toughest parts
something big? and that they are about to somehowwhen or if they happen to you.
wake up from a dream (this ?reality? being theTough times has a reason.
dream). Very weird thoughts may come up. To take