| On your journey through life your Unconscious | | | | programmed to see working with your emotions as |
| collects social shoulds. | | | | an absolute daily necessity; if you were a member of |
| As a child these go into your thinking processes | | | | a tribe in Africa a visit to the Shaman might be |
| automatically. By adulthood you have developed an | | | | expected. In Western civilisation, however, we are |
| anti-should-shield called your 'sense of self'. You now | | | | only just scratching the surface of our organic reality. |
| begin resisting new information as it arrives in your | | | | In Western society we actually have to employ |
| Conscious and start to assess whether or not this | | | | professional listeners and pay for expensive |
| new material is right for you by comparing it to what | | | | medication in order to return to an emotionally |
| you already know. | | | | balanced life - this is because having an emotional |
| Trouble is, by this time what you already know has | | | | issue in our society is seen as a taboo. |
| been built using shoulds implanted and assessed as | | | | What we pay for when we use the services of |
| being right for you by other people. While doing their | | | | counsellors (and I would not take these professionals |
| implanting those other people wanted you to do | | | | away for anything, do not get me wrong) is their |
| what was right for them rather than what was right | | | | help in de-constructing the negative messages |
| for you - even though they did so believing they had | | | | society has spent years shoving into our heads. |
| your best interests at heart. We are all subject to | | | | According to society you should: |
| this programming and schools are designed to | | | | - think positively - this is not possible when your body |
| orientate us in this way. I am not saying this is a bad | | | | is overwhelming your brain with a powerful negative |
| thing - just that the socialisation training provided | | | | emotional discharge; positive thinking can be used as |
| does not give us the programming we need to be | | | | a form of denial and can block the release of |
| happy - just enough programming, of the right type, | | | | emotional responses in this situation |
| to suit the needs of those around us. Society is | | | | - pull yourself together - in order to do this you |
| extremely selfish in this regard. | | | | actually have to let yourself 'fall apart' first so that full |
| Occasionally you may become aware of how | | | | emotional discharge (preferably in private) takes place |
| powerful an embedded process this is when, for | | | | leading to a return to a relaxed state - your biology is |
| example, you want to instill new thinking habits | | | | designed to work this way |
| designed to make yourself happier, and your old | | | | - do the 'right thing' - usually something you say to |
| shoulds rise up unexpectedly to challenge them. This | | | | yourself when in a situation where the wrong thing is |
| challenge is not a small challenge; this challenge is a | | | | being done to you - for example you may be in a |
| painful, meet-you-outside-for-a punch-up challenge | | | | painful relationship where you believe the right thing |
| that produces strong emotional responses. New | | | | to do is make the relationship work because you |
| shoulds are often seen as threatening, even when | | | | have children and you have been programmed to |
| they would be good for us. A recent example of this | | | | think that way - but your partner is being unfaithful |
| for me was when a friend asked to borrow a | | | | while you just live in hope that one day doing the |
| self-esteem improvement book, after openly telling | | | | right thing will pay off ... meanwhile you get |
| me she had low self-esteem and wanted to do | | | | emotionally ill because you are constantly afraid of |
| something about it, then passed the book back | | | | losing the relationships with your partner and children |
| unread after several weeks because she was too | | | | ... what is the right thing, exactly? |
| frightened to read it. | | | | - not be feeling this emotion - you have no choice in |
| There is a difference between what external society | | | | what type of emotions you feel; nature has designed |
| wants you to be doing and what your organic self | | | | your emotional system this way - emotional illness is |
| needs you to do - your happiness is dependent on | | | | due to emotional overcharging of the body; not to |
| how you manage the conflicts created by the | | | | abnormal emotional type - there is no such thing as |
| differences between the two. Emotional illness is a | | | | bad or abnormal feeling - our feelings are sometimes |
| glaring signal you have got the balance wrong. | | | | our best indicators as to whether or not we should |
| Why do we get the balance wrong? | | | | move towards or away from something (in the case |
| Society is left-brain (logic) dominant and programmes | | | | of emotional disorders our feelings are often lying to |
| us to hide our emotions because they are | | | | us because they are based on false unconsciously |
| inconvenient; they are unprofitable; they take up | | | | held beliefs about ourselves - that does not make |
| 'valuable time' and, worst of all, they remind our | | | | the feeling wrong) |
| dominant intellectual minds we are organic first. | | | | - be less sensitive - it is very inconvenient to others |
| Your brain was actually created by nature to serve | | | | when you notice something, feel something and |
| the needs of your body - not the other way round. | | | | express your sensitivity to it - this common should |
| You would have no idea of the meaning of words | | | | tells you to put yourself in a nice convenient wooden |
| like 'profit' or 'time' if it were not for your social | | | | box and pretend you are not human. |
| programming. In order to heal from an emotional | | | | So What Should You Do? |
| disorder your logical thinking mind has to temporarily | | | | If you want to heal from an emotional problem you |
| accept and surrender to biological control. When you | | | | should say hello to your organic self - and be willing |
| do not allow your body to speak because your | | | | to acknowledge, challenge and even trade in your old |
| socially programmed shoulds refuse it the right to do | | | | social shoulds for your own self-directed shoulds. But |
| so it fights back with more intense emotional | | | | who am I to tell you? After all, as far as you are |
| responses. | | | | concerned, I am society. |
| In a Buddhist community you would be socially | | | | |