Self Mastery - Oneness & Individuation

Oneness: The existence of a subtle energy web that"happens" as part of our own creation; it is our calling
interconnects all things.and at some point was our deepest desire, to be
Individuation: Integration of human components andpart of this enigmatic thing we call Heaven on Earth;
recognition of one's true self and soul path.Yin and Yang.
Embracing the Dichotomy:Personal Story:
I love the Yin Yang symbol. To me it is the singleOne of my biggest fears is loneliness, and up until
most significant and descriptive symbol representingabout the last 13 years or so I've also been confused
the nature of the Universe and each one of its laws.about its accessory, aloneness. Throughout my life
Every primary Universal Law is contained within theand in reaction to my loneliness, I would search out
Yin Yang symbol including "Oneness," which isand find a new mate every time I was alone. Each
represented by the encirclement of masculine andtime I mated, I was lonelier than ever while in the
feminine crescents within.partnership, never understanding that being alone
Together, black and white snuggle against onewasn't the same as being lonely.
another inside the circle; they are one with theNow, I realize that I was only lonely for myself. My
whole, on some level equal and balanced parts ofsoul was crying out to be seen, heard and honored.
individuality: day and night, active and receptive,Instead, I projected my needs and my feelings of
cause and effect, the fire and water in all life.lack onto my 2 husbands and 4 live-in boyfriends
Separately, these crescents are each undifferentiatedalong the way. I also held really big expectations,
components of the whole; viable parts, yet not themostly unspoken, to be loved and cherished by each
whole idea.of those men.
Our souls are similar as they are the center of ourI couldn't love myself because in my mind I was
own personal being-ness, components of oursomehow never enough in any circumstance, much
individual bodies, part and parcel to the spirit thatless one of those relationships, yet I had no trouble
surrounds us, weaves through us, and is knitted intoprojecting my needs onto my men. It was always
everything in the known Universe. Spirit, by itstheir responsibility to "make me" feel loved, to see
nature, is "Oneness." It belongs to no one inmy gifts and contributions, to hold me in high esteem.
particular, although we are all contained within it and itWith that in place, I could continue to deny my
is held inside us.self-loathing, and especially, my loneliness.
The soul is about the size of our fist and is aSome of those men tried, yet ultimately they could
reflection of our individual hearts. We are solelynever please me and I eventually sent them packing.
responsible for our hearts, physically, emotionally andI blamed them so I wouldn't have to face my own
energetically. It is also our individual responsibility toresponsibility. I blamed them so I could continue my
complete our soul's mission during the lifetime in whichwishful thinking that out there, somewhere, was the
we exist, rather than expecting some other being,man for me.
human or benevolent, to care-take us.This was definitely a Yin-Yang imbalance. My state of
Spirit is like connective tissue and is reflected in thebeing was so far from individuation I couldn't see it
body as an intricate fabric that weaves throughwith a telescope. With all the mental and emotional
organs, into bones, around nerves and blood vessels,yo-yoing, I wasn't able to hold Yin or Yang. I craved
connecting our internal body parts and the skin thatbeing one with my mates. I craved touch and
overlays it all. Going a bit deeper, the subtle ortogetherness; I craved attention like an abandoned
spiritual bodies connect via the nerves which arebaby. If I had these things around me, I could believe
spiritual energy channels or nadis, into the chakras.in myself and hold onto a false sense of belonging.
Our subtle bodies are the energetic templates for ourIt was never "Oneness," of course; it was
physical existence. They are also fractals of theenmeshment that I craved. I had deluded myself into
Universal web or spiritual network. Fractals arebelieving that I was part of a couple even though the
microcosms, self-similar and infinite pieces of themoments when I could actually hold onto the belief
macrocosm, the Universal hologram. It is infinitelywere very slippery, indeed.
self-perpetuating.These stories I made up, and the states of being I
Even though we are naturally and permanentlybelieved to be real, were so incredibly empty. I came
connected with the macrocosm, I don't believe weaway from my last relationship lonelier than ever, and
can be truly one with the Universe without firstone day I had to face myself without a partner for
recognizing and embracing our individuality. When ourwhat is now 13 years.
individuality is not fully owned, it acts like a distortionI have found my own masculine energy and the
or a glitch, a heavy anchor pulling on the spiritualcultivation of that essence helps my feminine energy
matrix, expecting to be dragged along.get stronger too. I don't always feel balanced in any
It's easy to claim a belief in "Oneness" and then togiven moment or even capable of meeting situations
avoid responsibility for our actions as separate,with that perfect blend of Yin and Yang.
contributing human beings in the world. Rather thanAnd, it doesn't really matter because now I truly love
being synergistically Yang--a giving, active, vital forcebeing alone.
of life, and or Yin--open, welcoming energy; it's muchAwareness Exercise:
easier to be complacent and apathetic or angry andSit comfortably, feet on the floor, hands in your lap.
forceful. This way we don't have to work asTake a few deep breaths through your mouth,
compassionately and diligently, instead riding inexhaling the hot wind from deep in your belly.
someone else's wake or waiting for God to send aNow take a few relaxing breaths through your nose
knight in shining armor, or for the wind to blow uswith your mouth closed. Breathe up from your pelvic
into the magical palace of our dreams.floor into your head through the depths of your
This creates a heck of a lot of drag on the boat.spine; breathe back down the spine. Repeat this a
Imagine if everyone did it this way!few times.
When we are not operating in that constantly shiftingNext, inhale through the nose visualizing the breath
sweet spot, a sometimes chaotic, alternatelymoving up the spine again. This time, as you exhale,
systematic and balanced form of Yin /Yang, ourwatch as the breath spirals, winding around and down
energy rests heavily on the "Oneness" network.the spine to the pelvic floor again. Repeat this cycle
When we are all spirit and no soul, or even viceat least 9 times and up to 21 times in increments of
versa, we have not yet claimed our inheritance.3. Stay in the Center of your Head, focusing on the
What some may call entitlement, I call ownership. It'sbreath as it moves up and down.
our job to claim our power, the gifts of abundance,How do you feel? What do you see, sense or
prosperity and connection to all things. We also neednotice?
to own everything in our lives, remembering that it all