Maintaining Your Emotional Boundaries Requires a Constant Vigil

Emotional Boundaries Require Constant Vigilmight be too threatening to our partner. Standing up
I'm convinced that people will gnaw away at ourfor you somehow equates to disrespecting them.
personal boundaries if you let them. They are just likeAll of this causes me to wonder how you develop a
those little no-see-um gnats that swarm your headrelationship in which both parties have the right to
and drive you nuts. If you make concessions anddraw the boundary in the sand without becoming
give anyone in your life an inch, I will guarantee theythreatened? Is it after the third date that you have a
will take a mile. That is why maintaining yourState meeting between yourselves and formulate a
emotional boundaries requires a constant vigil on yourstrategic plan by which you each agree to operate as
part.independent States yet each contributes to the good
I'm no relationship therapist but, even I know that itof the Country as a whole? Honestly, I don't know
is a constant struggle to keep that line clearly drawnhow this works. What I do know is that what I
in the sand. Even though the waves of humanity areknow about developing and maintaining a successful
constantly trying to erase the boundaries that yourelationship ain't much.
set it is incumbent upon you to maintain yourEmotional Boundaries and Counseling
authenticity and keep up the border.I am beginning to believe that most of us cannot
Emotional Boundaries in Love Relationshipsorganically develop whole, emotionally healthy
Love relationships are the hardest. With the ebb andrelationships without the aid of relationship counseling.
flow of a personal relationship, emotional boundariesMy hypothesis is partially tested through my personal
are hard to keep. There is a tendency to give morelife experience. First, most of us are a product of mild
slack in these relationships than we would give ato moderate dysfunction within our own families. The
friend or coworker. Saying No is hard but, saying Nogeneration that raised us is the same generation that
and really meaning No requires a steely reserve thatdeveloped child psychology.
most of us do not have. That's where couplesTherefore, it is reasonable to assume that what our
counseling, marriage therapy or other counselingparents knew about healthy child rearing was only
services come in handy. These folks are trainedslightly more advanced than the techniques of their
professionals. They know how to navigate the landown parents.
mines that exist along the pathway to a healthyI believe that our own biorhythms functions to draw
relationship.to us that person that responds to our personal
I am angry right now. I have allowed many of myenergy.
personal boundaries to become breached over theIf we are brought up in an extremely restrictive
last week. I'm feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.environment and suffer from low self-esteem, what
I'm trying to make really good decisions yet, I feelsort of energy do you suppose we are putting out
like I'm being stuffed back down into the box fromthere into the Universe?
which I recently escaped. Writing is my depressionWhat sort of mate would you expect to draw to
therapist. For me, sharing my thoughts with you isyourself? A predator perhaps? Maybe someone that
my best treatment for depression.might take advantage of your weaknesses?
Most of you know that when I left my husband lastI want you to see from this analogy how important
year, I completely re-evaluated everything about myit is to become emotionally healthy and to stand
life. I formulated a new plan and set upon a path ofstrong in the face of your emotional boundary line
self-awareness and emotional healing. I wanted to letviolators. Take a stick and draw a giant swath in the
go of my anger and learn to love and value myselfmetaphoric sand of life. Mark and defend your
again. In order to do this, I had to say good-bye topersonal boundaries against those that would try to
my old way of doing things. This included constantlybreach them. Encourage those you love to do the
giving in or rather giving up my personal boundariessame.
and what was important to me.When you find yourself struggling, don't forget there
Emotional Boundaries and Codependencyare many professionals out there that can help you
I believe that the opposite of boundaries isand your loved one navigate the choppy waters of
codependency. After all, when we rely on emotionalrelationships. They are experts at turning the tables
dependency to operate, we actually morph into theon the negative and shining a light back on the
person our partner wants us to be. We becomepossibilities of a healthy, loving relationship. When it
unable to maintain our own identity because thatgets to hard don't forget to ask for help.