| Eating disorders are rooted in emotional struggles. | | | | have been learned from our culture and our society |
| These struggles are deep emotional conflicts within | | | | but they are not ours. For example, when a |
| the sufferer, these are called self-conflicts. | | | | swimming coach tells a young girl: " You should lose |
| How the conflicts started in the first place? | | | | weight immediately in order to fit the criteria for the |
| This process begins by fantasizing at a very early | | | | swimming completion." Initially the girl was probably |
| age. People fantasize a script, for example like a | | | | OK with the way she was and didn't think she needs |
| Hollywood production focusing on TV stars or other | | | | to lose weight immediately. Her swimming coach |
| celebrities. Then they start rehearsing their part. As | | | | installs the "ought-to-be self" in her. Her "ought-to-be |
| they go, they either give up on their initial part and | | | | self" may go into conflict with her "actual self" after |
| take up a new one, or they practice the first part | | | | the coach's comments and if she is vulnerable she will |
| and role -play that script out until it becomes who | | | | develop an eating disorder in order to comply with |
| they think they are. Practising the script automates | | | | the losing weight rules that have been set in her |
| their behaviour and it becomes fixed. | | | | mind. |
| For example, a young girl perceived that she is | | | | 4. The desired self. |
| overweight. By looking through magazines, watching | | | | This is a self we believe we could be and desire to |
| TV and movies she finds herself a role- model that is | | | | be. This self is especially obvious in young people |
| slim, polished and glamorous and play out this picture | | | | when they plan for the future. Later in life this self |
| in her mind. From the same source she gets a script | | | | can be a source of discontent if the desires have not |
| to follow to achieve this kind of unattainable look. | | | | been fulfilled. For example, a woman after 30 |
| She rehearses it until it becomes automatic and turns | | | | suddenly develops an eating disorder. This eating |
| into an eating disorder, anorexia or bulimia. | | | | disorder is very likely to be a consequence of |
| Her imprinting environment plays a significant role in | | | | discontentment due to her unfulfilled desires of an |
| the alternative scripts available to her. If her parents | | | | earlier time (or the "desired self"). |
| happen to be too strict or uncaring, she would be | | | | What is a solution for solving this self-conflicts? |
| unable to develop a positive coping strategy to | | | | Emotional healing would be the answer and you can |
| counteract her developing problems. In some | | | | put it into 5 steps: |
| problematic families being warm and friendly is seen | | | | 1. Realize that one has emotional conflicts and they |
| as an embarrassment, so the child becomes cold and | | | | are probably the cause of the eating disorder. |
| aloof to compensate. | | | | 2. Believe that one should and can solve these self- |
| Self-conflict is a conflict between different "selfs" | | | | conflicts. |
| inside one person. There are 4 different "selfs": | | | | 3. Accept that emotional healing is the only way to |
| 1. The actual self. | | | | solve these internal conflicts. |
| It is the private self. This self consist of thoughts we | | | | 4. Go through the emotional healing process. |
| wish we didn't have and actions we wish we haven't | | | | 5. Follow the emotional healing strategies as a way of |
| done. It also contains our self-esteem, our | | | | living your life. |
| attractiveness, and our secret ambitions. Eating | | | | Emotional healing is the only answer to resolve |
| disorders sufferers may dream of looking like a slim | | | | self-conflicts in eating disorder sufferers. If emotional |
| movie star, or a sport champion etc. Her/his | | | | healing does not occur during a particular treatment - |
| self-esteem is really proportional to a degree of how | | | | there is little hope for this kind of treatment being |
| alike she/he looks compared to their famous | | | | helpful. |
| role-model they are trying to emulate. | | | | Maybe in this case the person ought to look for |
| 2. The ideal self. | | | | different alternatives. Mindfulness training seems to |
| This self is built by culture and society. Ideal self is | | | | prove itself as a great emotional healer for these |
| about living a perfect life, without any mistakes and | | | | kinds of ED sufferers. It has been proven that if one |
| therefore without room for growth. | | | | is mindful and aware, one can experience true |
| 3. The ought-to-be self. | | | | freedom and liberation from all their self conflicts. |
| This self is about our "should" and "oughts" which | | | | |