| Maintaining emotional balance can be extremely | | | | the situation seem less personal and unique. Lots of |
| challenging, especially during times of crisis, trauma or | | | | people fail to keep secrets and the world keeps |
| major change. As humans, we tend to stick with | | | | turning. You can survive this. |
| what we know even when the results are less than | | | | 2. Describe your current reaction to your challenge. |
| satisfactory. Have you observed people (or perhaps | | | | How do you truly feel at this moment? Don't hold |
| yourself) continuing to repeat the same behavior | | | | back. Are you angry, fearful, regretful, anxious, |
| patterns while expecting different results? | | | | overwhelmed, defeated, resentful, or agitated? Get |
| Life happens. Events take place that are beyond our | | | | in touch with your true feelings. Acknowledge them; |
| control, and some of them can be extremely | | | | they belong to you and they are real. |
| upsetting and all-consuming. We can't avoid negative | | | | 3. Create a rating system (numbers, stars, plus signs, |
| situations, nor can we change the behavior or | | | | exclamation marks, etc.) and evaluate the intensity of |
| opinions of other people involved. We can only look | | | | your reaction. This is a form of validation and a way |
| honestly at our own reactions and try to channel our | | | | to judge where you are along the path of emotional |
| responses into a positive direction. | | | | healing. |
| Emotional balance is achieved through identifying, | | | | 4. Envision your desired emotional reaction. What's |
| feeling and processing our emotional reactions in | | | | your concept of a healthy and appropriate response? |
| appropriate and healthy ways. | | | | How do you want to handle this situation? What kind |
| If you are struggling to accept and adjust to an | | | | of genuine reaction would make you feel like you |
| emotional challenge, here are some strategies to | | | | handled yourself with dignity, fairness and grace? |
| re-shape your reactions and find relief. | | | | 5. Think about actions you can take to move closer |
| 1. Briefly summarize the situation. Try to state what's | | | | to your desired reaction. For example, you may think |
| happened as simply and unemotionally as possible, | | | | you owe someone an apology, even though you |
| using concise and neutral language. Reducing your | | | | might not be ready to make it at this time. |
| problem to its simplest form is a great way of | | | | Look at what role you played in creating the current |
| making it seem smaller and more manageable. | | | | situation. Do you need to change your attitude or |
| For example, your mind may be screaming: "I can't | | | | perspective? Make the situation less personal or |
| believe she betrayed my trust! Why would she blab | | | | important? Or do you need to simply do nothing until |
| something I told her in strict confidence? She | | | | a desirable course of action becomes clearer? |
| promised she wouldn't tell anyone. Now everyone is | | | | You may need to repeat these steps a number of |
| going to know! I'll never trust her again." | | | | times before you experience a calmer, more serene |
| A simpler, calmer description would be: "I shared a | | | | response. Keeping a journal may help you gain insight |
| secret with a friend who told it to someone else." | | | | and see progress. Hopefully, with repetition and |
| Restating the problem succinctly and neutrally takes | | | | persistence you will streamline your path towards |
| away a lot of its drama and power. It also makes | | | | peace and emotional balance. |