| Divorce hurts a lot of people. I don't think many | | | | reconcile. By pulling these kids aside in this way, they |
| people would take up issue with this. The reasons | | | | are made to feel as if they need to "fix" a situation |
| people get hurt are as varied as the divorces | | | | they have no control over. |
| themselves. As a Christian though, I've been horribly | | | | If we acknowledge them we're condoning what |
| offended by the way the Church has treated | | | | they've done |
| divorced individuals. I believe in many cases they've | | | | Failing to acknowledge someone is not showing love. |
| hurt people far more than they've helped them. The | | | | Telling them they have to leave your church because |
| ideal Church is meant to be a family atmosphere | | | | of a divorce isn't showing love. Divorce happens for a |
| where we can feel safe, accepted and loved. | | | | number of reasons. Regardless of the reasons, Jesus |
| Unfortunately because the Church is made up of | | | | told us in John 13:34, "As I have loved, so you must |
| people and we're all sinful, it falls short of that ideal. It | | | | love one another." Research has shown us for the |
| can easily become, judgmental, hard hearted and | | | | past 10 years that Christian marriages divorce at the |
| cruel if not carefully guarded. This, unfortunately has | | | | same rate or even a little higher than non-Christian |
| been more the norm rather than the exception when | | | | marriages. So when churches try to isolate |
| it comes to divorce. | | | | themselves from the "contagiousness" of divorce, it |
| I want to take this opportunity to look at some of | | | | isn't working. |
| the more common reactions to divorce and discuss | | | | Instead you're sending a message to these hurting |
| why they are inappropriate and even downright | | | | people that they are unlovable. Those who've been |
| damaging not only to the divorced person but to | | | | rejected by their spouse already feel this way. Their |
| your church and community it large. | | | | church family needs to be a place where they know |
| Their children need to know what their parents have | | | | they can be accepted and loved. What does it do to |
| done | | | | one's spirit to be rejected from their spiritual |
| I've had several devastated parents come into my | | | | community as well. There is danger for your church |
| office because of this. They already feel betrayed by | | | | too. You will quickly have a reputation in your |
| a church community that's practically | | | | community as judgmental, and non-accepting. How |
| ex-communicating them, only to find out that their | | | | are you expecting to grow and bring people to Christ |
| children have been singled out as well. Children are | | | | as we are all commissioned to do? |
| the innocent victims in a divorce. But yet, people who | | | | It's unforgivable |
| think they are "doing the right thing" will pull these | | | | Divorce is a sin. The Bible is very clear on that. It is |
| kids aside to be sure to tell them what horrible | | | | not what God intended when He gave us the gift of |
| people their parents are. | | | | the marriage convenient. But lying, cheating, and not |
| This is destructive to kids of any age. These children | | | | honoring your parents are sins as well. God doesn't |
| are hurting. Their life as they've known it is over and | | | | have a hierarchy of sin. Sin is sin and all are worthy |
| they are trying to make sense of what is going on | | | | of the consequence of death. That is the beauty of |
| now. To have some "well intentioned" person then | | | | the cross. Jesus suffered there so that ALL of us |
| come up and starting belittling their parents causes | | | | could be forgiven. It is men who put more emphasis |
| confusion and anger. No good comes from this. The | | | | on certain sins. It is a slap in the face to everything |
| children had no say in this adult decision of divorce. | | | | Jesus died for to label divorce "unforgivable. |
| They also have no say in trying to help them | | | | |