Converting From Christianity to Pagan

I was raised Christian, but during a very difficult timemale-dominant religion.
in my life, I questioned my rigid belief system andAfter honoring the sabbats, full moon, and new moon
found that a different path was more appealing tocycles for several years now, I feel closer to my
me. During my study to learn more about otherCreator than ever in my life. The rules and dogma of
religions, I came across a book by Scott Cunninghamorganized religion actually kept me from living a
titled Wicca A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner.truthful life of honoring my authentic self. I felt like a
At the time, I didn't even know what a solitaryfake because I was taught to be more concerned
practitioner was, much less that I fit the description! Iwith appearances than with being real. The Christian
have been a closet prayer warrior all my life. Ipath served me well for a while, and it serves a
participated in and lead several prayer and worshippurpose in the lives of many people, but the
groups, but most of my prayer work was alone andevangelistic nature of needing to believe a certain
usually with candles, gestures, written prayers,way in order to avoid hell or judgement, really seems
meditation, and incense. I danced with flags andmanipulative now that I'm removed from it.
banners, and used instruments and homemade toolsAdditionally, the teachings of separateness from the
to make dancing more fun and meaningful. MyDivine conflicts with the teachings of the Bible. And,
granddaughter calls it 'fairy dancing.' Yes, I danced,the Bible, while it may have been inspired, as many
sang, and moved in circles while making verbalscared texts are, has a proven record of alteration
petition. No wonder I felt like an outcast in churchesdue to governmental influence. These 'adjustments'
that did not honor such activity! Little did I realizehave caused the text to be misaligned with the
how similar my practice of moving of energy is tocharacter and very nature of Jesus.
performing Pagan rituals.Now, I better understand and daily practice a mindful
Once I left the Church, I intended to never againawareness of my connection to God/Goddess,
have a religious label, but there are enoughpeople, animals, the Earth, the spirit realm, and all
commonalities with Native American beliefs,things great and small. The Goddess is within me is
Earth-based religions, and feminine-honoring practicescreating and birthing new ideas to be implemented
that I feel comfortable being associated with thesewith insight from my higher connection. The God is
systems.my conscious giving me clarity and intuitive guidance.
Unfortunately, there is a stigma within AmericanMy garden is a circle of life with clearly marked gates
society that shuns anything that seemsfor the four directional corners. There's an altar in the
anti-Christian--probably due to fear of the unknown,middle where I offer herbs, flowers, wine, and bread
or a misunderstanding in terminology. While I was inas gifts to thank spiritual beings for assisting me in
Christian circles, I was taught things about Paganismmanifesting my desires. The rituals themselves are
that are just not true. History clearly indicates howfun, but endowed with extremely powerful beings of
Christianity has adopted many of the practices oflight who deserve to be honored and respected. I'm
Paganism and camouflaged Pagan sabats and toutedseeing things aligning and manifesting quicker than
them as Christian holidays--especially Ostara (Easter)ever. Synchronicity is a regular occurrence since I've
and Yule (Christmas).learned to direct my prayers with positive intent and
I should have known my roots were more alignedwithout interfering with the will of another person. I
with earth-centered worship when I gave birth toam aware that each of us makes choices to assist
two children who were born on sabats or traditionalour souls with spiritual development. There's more
days of Wiccan celebration. My son was born onlove and less judgement in my life and I've seen
Mabon and my daughter was born almost four yearsmiracles: healing, conception, spiritual awakening, and
later on Lughnasadh. My brother was born on Beltane.obvious changes as a result of my rituals.
My son married his Wiccan wife on Samhain. I haveLife is an ever-changing and growing experience filled
always loved gardening--especially growing vegetableswith joy and freedom that I never experienced while
and herbs. My grandmother planted by the 'signs' inchained to the dogma and doctrine of organized
the almanac and had a gift of seeing in the spiritreligion. I realize that Paganism is a legitimate religion,
realm--a gift she probably doesn't realize she HASbut for me it is a way of life that brings me ever
much less that she passed on to me. None of thesecloser to my true self with awareness and
were by accident, I'm sure. The Goddess was tryingappreciation for the oneness I have with other
to get my attention even while I was part of apeople and all creatures. As in Heaven, so on Earth.