| Introduction | | | | chronic low grade depression). |
| The message in our culture is that you need to be | | | | Happiness in the second half of lifeThe second half of |
| happy and positive in life. If someone is not, there is | | | | life brings with it the opportunity to re-examine our |
| something wrong with them and it (they) needs to | | | | lives and to assess what is really important to us. |
| be fixed. Few of us have room for sadness, fear, | | | | What is common is that we come in touch with |
| guilt and anger. It is one of my pet peeves that we | | | | another aspect of ourselves, our true essence that |
| tend to cover up how we truly feel and gloss it over | | | | could be referred to as the soul. Living life congruent |
| with inauthentic happiness and positivity. | | | | with it brings happiness. Midlife is a time for us to |
| For those of us middle aged and beyond, the cost of | | | | grow up. We can come to know ourselves in new |
| our inauthenticity catches up with us. Our soul is | | | | ways and let go of roles and responsibilities that no |
| calling for its true expression after being suppressed | | | | longer work for us particularly relationships and |
| for many years. Continued suppression of our soul | | | | career. More importantly, through consciousness |
| leads to suffering - a lack of fulfillment and joy. | | | | raising practices, we can embrace our humanity with |
| What is the problem with being real? | | | | all its warts, including feelings we are uncomfortable |
| This question is related to the question, "who am I?" | | | | with and truly live authentically and happily. |
| Human beings relate to themselves as an identity or | | | | Up until my late thirties, I was stuck in the trap of |
| ego or a self. The job of this entity is to survive, | | | | looking good and doing what my mind was telling me. |
| both physically and existentially in terms of who that | | | | It was not until I experienced a personal |
| person (identity) considers themselves to be. The | | | | transformation that I started listening to my heart |
| survival of the "I" is maintained by controlling life and | | | | and soul. My life became less driven and I developed |
| avoiding risk. It is expressed by a drive to being right, | | | | more compassion for myself and others. After ten |
| justifying oneself, winning and dominating. Through | | | | years of practicing dentistry, I retired and designed |
| this mechanism, an "act" is developed to protect the | | | | my life based on what aligned with who I considered |
| ego. | | | | myself to be at the soul level. Most of my middle |
| Our culture is dominated by a striving for success - | | | | aged coaching clients are now coming to terms with |
| making it. The recipe for achieving it is by | | | | the cost of being inauthentic and embarking on |
| manipulating ourselves to be positive, to be happy, to | | | | re-owning their lives. |
| look good, to follow the crowd, to not rock the boat. | | | | Recommended consciousness raising practicesHere |
| These days, there is much written and spoken on | | | | are some practices that I have engaged in myself |
| searching for happiness and being positive. There is | | | | and have also recommended to my middle aged |
| little space for the so called "negative" emotions like | | | | coaching clients: |
| sadness, fear, disgust and anger. | | | | |
| Not only is there little cultural space for negative | | | | 1. Psychotherapy |
| emotions, there is little space for our identities to | | | | 2. Personal development programs like Landmark |
| include them. They are suppressed and make us feel | | | | Education and Contegrity Program Designs |
| very uncomfortable because they are a threat to | | | | 3. Meditation |
| the identity. As a result, for the most part, we are | | | | 4. Yoga |
| not in touch with our emotions, which has major | | | | 5. The Alexander Technique |
| consequences in how we lead our lives - much | | | | 6. Participating in a spiritual community |
| unhappiness (my view is that most of us live in a | | | | 7. |